Lego struggle

The lego struggle is real. At least for me it is. My son is four and a half and really into Legos lately.  I however hate them, for many reasons. 

He picked out this army lego the other day in the store. I caved, it was small, how hard could it really be? Right. 

This is how it went....

Looking at the bags always gives me that oh shit feeling. There is so many small pieces, way too many steps, and I can never figure out those damn diagrams. 

I am already cringing at the process and my anxiety is now shooting through the roof. My eyes pulge as I start shouting; "don't touch anything!" Repeatedly. I get through the first step and just as my confidence starts to build step two confuses me. 

Where is the wine? 

Steps three and four just pissed me off and chipped my nail polish. I need a break. 

I am pretending to poop in the bathroom to avoid this. 

Liam has now asked five times if the Legos built, pointing out how small the instruction packet is. 

Oh you think so I ask? Let's see you put it together. :-) funny they have nothing to say when you challenge them with the task. 

By this point I've realized one of the few needs for a man. Legos, totally a mans job... 

I cruise the craiglist "rent a boyfriend" section. Only to discover they don't have one, but totally should! 

Now I am trying to figure out how to build this amazing website where you can rent men to do chores that you can't do on your own.  perfect right? 

Then I realize...

Oh crap I am still not done with my lego, Liam's now asked 14 times if it's finished. Ugh. 

I get through a few steps which seem way to easy. Only to realize at step ten it was because I did them all wrong!

I take it all apart. 

I sit and stare cursing Legos in a whisper so my son can't here. 

I work endlessly on the steps. Why are these photos so crappy? It's the 2000 this is the best you got? 

I hate Legos

I do not like them not one bit. 

Finally

 I am done! 

However, I can't help but question.. Why did this take 33 steps to build this dinky you? How long before my son breaks it and I can't fix it? Why Legos why?!?