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Saturday, January 17, 2015

Goodbyes, love and monogamy

Goodbye is some times inevitable. 

Often you out grow people, and that's okay. Regardless, goodbyes have always been hard for me. It can be the eight year long friendship with a gal pal, that long distance relationship with a partner, that person you've just remained by their side bc you can't let go or hurt them.

 Whatever it is, goodbyes just aren't the easiest thing for me. They seem so forever, someone always gets crushed, and all too often hurtful words are spewed. 

But isn't "forever" how it's suppose to be in those situations?  Our ex's suppose to remain friends? Can you really start fresh dragging that baggage with you? While I am cordial with my past relationship partners, being friends just never seems to work in that area, at least not for me. 

Nonetheless those forever goodbyes  hurt; weather it's for the best, by your doing or theirs, it's never easy and there is never a right time. 

Letting go of friendships bc you've outgrown each other hurts a little less than ending that four year relationship  with your partner and what some will say is the love of their life. How many "loves of our life" do we really get? Are we as humans too fucked up to be in one "love of our life" relationships in our lifetime? Are we so unattainable that we must keep searching for the next best thing, even when we have the best thing in this moment right beside us? 
I feel like by thirty most of my generation has triple digit sex partners, no sense of self respect, no courting skills, and no true meaning of what love or even unconditional even mean. It grosses me out, to the point that I am content being single the rest of my life. 

I am by no means perfect. I know for sure I've told a boy I've loved him, when I did not. I've carried on relationships when I knew in my heart they would only be short term. Is that wrong? I was never unfaithful, weren't they learning tools? I look at the dating pool around me and it makes me question a lot. 


It's like we've become incapable of long term love, honesty, and most importantly monogamy. We care so much about getting our rocks off in a moment of "look there is someone attractive" that we are willing to devastate someone whose stood by our side; held our hands when loved ones have been passed, had children with, birthdays, bad times and good. We've become a society lacking in morals and incapable of loving. 

In friendships there must be a faithfulness and loyalty as well, and while I certainly don't mean "not sleeping with other people". I do however mean: "don't screw my husband!"  Yes, while in headrosexual relationships  it's become almost impossible for one of the partners not to cheat, it has has also devastatingly enough become: "your my best friend in the whole world, oh my gosh I love you," turning your head to find the, "well I am sleeping with your man in your bed hoe" friendships. 
It's sad ; as a society we are more about getting our rocks off in that second than our own moral compass, respect for others we care about, and our own dignity. It's sad :-/

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