Valentine's Day candy, love and tears.

Isn't Valentine's Day oh so fun?

Well you know first your children have to make Valentine's Day cards for everyone in their class, even those kids liam really isn't cool wjth. Everyone has to be fair. You know because life is so fair and all

First we had to have Scooby Doo cards. The new greatest thing in our home. 

Then a list of twenty two kids unrolls and hell breaks loose. 

What's this letter?

Why is ther name so long??

..... It was four letters. 

I don't even talk to that kid how can I spell their name?

Can I just right hearts on all of them??

By now tears are streaming down his face soaking into the blank card in front of him. 

Who knew Valentine's Day cards were so difficult and emotional??

Seriously drowning in love. Can't even breath surrounded by love. 

Happy Valentine's Day!

Lego struggle

The lego struggle is real. At least for me it is. My son is four and a half and really into Legos lately.  I however hate them, for many reasons. 

He picked out this army lego the other day in the store. I caved, it was small, how hard could it really be? Right. 

This is how it went....

Looking at the bags always gives me that oh shit feeling. There is so many small pieces, way too many steps, and I can never figure out those damn diagrams. 

I am already cringing at the process and my anxiety is now shooting through the roof. My eyes pulge as I start shouting; "don't touch anything!" Repeatedly. I get through the first step and just as my confidence starts to build step two confuses me. 

Where is the wine? 

Steps three and four just pissed me off and chipped my nail polish. I need a break. 

I am pretending to poop in the bathroom to avoid this. 

Liam has now asked five times if the Legos built, pointing out how small the instruction packet is. 

Oh you think so I ask? Let's see you put it together. :-) funny they have nothing to say when you challenge them with the task. 

By this point I've realized one of the few needs for a man. Legos, totally a mans job... 

I cruise the craiglist "rent a boyfriend" section. Only to discover they don't have one, but totally should! 

Now I am trying to figure out how to build this amazing website where you can rent men to do chores that you can't do on your own.  perfect right? 

Then I realize...

Oh crap I am still not done with my lego, Liam's now asked 14 times if it's finished. Ugh. 

I get through a few steps which seem way to easy. Only to realize at step ten it was because I did them all wrong!

I take it all apart. 

I sit and stare cursing Legos in a whisper so my son can't here. 

I work endlessly on the steps. Why are these photos so crappy? It's the 2000 this is the best you got? 

I hate Legos

I do not like them not one bit. 

Finally

 I am done! 

However, I can't help but question.. Why did this take 33 steps to build this dinky you? How long before my son breaks it and I can't fix it? Why Legos why?!?

Goodbyes, love and monogamy

Goodbye is some times inevitable. 

Often you out grow people, and that's okay. Regardless, goodbyes have always been hard for me. It can be the eight year long friendship with a gal pal, that long distance relationship with a partner, that person you've just remained by their side bc you can't let go or hurt them.

 Whatever it is, goodbyes just aren't the easiest thing for me. They seem so forever, someone always gets crushed, and all too often hurtful words are spewed. 

But isn't "forever" how it's suppose to be in those situations?  Our ex's suppose to remain friends? Can you really start fresh dragging that baggage with you? While I am cordial with my past relationship partners, being friends just never seems to work in that area, at least not for me. 

Nonetheless those forever goodbyes  hurt; weather it's for the best, by your doing or theirs, it's never easy and there is never a right time. 

Letting go of friendships bc you've outgrown each other hurts a little less than ending that four year relationship  with your partner and what some will say is the love of their life. How many "loves of our life" do we really get? Are we as humans too fucked up to be in one "love of our life" relationships in our lifetime? Are we so unattainable that we must keep searching for the next best thing, even when we have the best thing in this moment right beside us? 

I feel like by thirty most of my generation has triple digit sex partners, no sense of self respect, no courting skills, and no true meaning of what love or even unconditional even mean. It grosses me out, to the point that I am content being single the rest of my life. 

I am by no means perfect. I know for sure I've told a boy I've loved him, when I did not. I've carried on relationships when I knew in my heart they would only be short term. Is that wrong? I was never unfaithful, weren't they learning tools? I look at the dating pool around me and it makes me question a lot. 

It's like we've become incapable of long term love, honesty, and most importantly monogamy. We care so much about getting our rocks off in a moment of "look there is someone attractive" that we are willing to devastate someone whose stood by our side; held our hands when loved ones have been passed, had children with, birthdays, bad times and good. We've become a society lacking in morals and incapable of loving. 

In friendships there must be a faithfulness and loyalty as well, and while I certainly don't mean "not sleeping with other people". I do however mean: "don't screw my husband!"  Yes, while in headrosexual relationships  it's become almost impossible for one of the partners not to cheat, it has has also devastatingly enough become: "your my best friend in the whole world, oh my gosh I love you," turning your head to find the, "well I am sleeping with your man in your bed hoe" friendships. 

It's sad ; as a society we are more about getting our rocks off in that second than our own moral compass, respect for others we care about, and our own dignity. It's sad :-/